No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
