He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
