worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
