his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
