Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
