not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
