If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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