I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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