Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
