Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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