Whatcha textin bout Willis?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
