on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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