I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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