Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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