Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have fence marks all over my body
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
