And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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