Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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