Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
