My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
