I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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