He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
