yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
