last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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