I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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