My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
