Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He shit in the fireplace
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
