try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
