I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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