Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
