Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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