that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Quick, to the slutcave!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
