i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
