weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
