Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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