have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
