i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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