You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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