So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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