It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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