Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
