did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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