She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize