You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
