i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
