I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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