my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
