the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
what is it with giant penises always finding me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
