I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
