its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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