508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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