And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
