Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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  (215): Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions. http://tfl.nu/2ubl
  Replies (9) Good night (582) Bad night (2529) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?

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  (773): If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk? http://tfl.nu/beic
  Replies (34) Good night (3319) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

  (818): View more from California

  oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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  (206): ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer (818): oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good http://tfl.nu/hoy9
  Replies (43) Good night (706) Bad night (4463)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (838) Bad night (3696) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1625) Bad night (5325) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.

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  (601): you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans. http://tfl.nu/q9cz
  Replies (20) Good night (1618) Bad night (7155) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (4527) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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  (314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn
  Replies (18) Good night (1066) Bad night (6158) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.

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  (360): She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/qt2q
  Replies (19) Good night (4590) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

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  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.

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  (330): It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/5ysk
  Replies (11) Good night (596) Bad night (1477)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

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  (832): Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/hrea
  Replies (3) Good night (2382) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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  (714): Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas. http://tfl.nu/rvqb
  Replies (5) Good night (504) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.

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  (814): She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow. http://tfl.nu/dddh
  Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.

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  (425): I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it. http://tfl.nu/bssm
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (176)

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