Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Man, jail baloney is awful.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize