Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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