I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
