Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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