Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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