well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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