I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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