i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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