You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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