Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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