Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
