So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
